I was interested to read Theo Paphitis talking about the combined feelings of excitement and fear in his autobiography, which I can relate to. I remember experiencing an overwhelming combination of these two emotions throughout my life, even from early childhood, and still now in my mid thirties as a mother of two.
It is the exact same feeling, and I both love it because it makes me feel alive and I hate it because it petrifies me. As an older teenager I wondered whether it would be best just to avoid it, to live a safe life within my comfort zone, and almost straight away drew to the conclusion that the minute I do that I would start to get old, I would start to die. So instead I choose every time to walk through those fires, but the feeling never gets any easier. No sooner do I get comfortable with one new situation I am faced with another, bigger, more exciting and more terrifying challenge to match the bigger braver me.
It was in researching Julie Myer from Ariadne Capital that I came across a famous quote from Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I also came across this talk by Marianne which I particularly enjoyed, where she speaks about the power of love, in particular that within a woman, the protection of children worldwide, the importance of depression and the need for nationwide remorse in response to war. Moved me to tears.